lol

I'm not going into any deep details here (would take forever and it's not people's business) as this was already stressful enough in march as much as it is now, still, I don't want to condemn anyone for what happened and i will only reply to this regarding you and not Nicky. I don't want anyone to get attacked, I don't want anyone to be made fun of... but obviously the community is small and everyone just talks, sometimes just to give the mouth some air.

Please just stop bringing this up. All i want is that you understand you fucked up big time and you were given an immense amount of hints, including direct ones (such as me crying outside of the venue while you were trying to follow me everywhere around, and me saying in front of you while you stare at me that i just want to enjoy the event and the company of my friends and not be orbited and followed around everywhere like that) and i even directly asked you to go away and leave me alone the saturday night while everyone was drinking and you kept trying to approach me in every possible way. I'd go outside saying i wanted to be alone, and you'd instantly get up and ask my irl friends who came with me to the event (and they didn't know tf2 people!!) where i was gone and that you had to look for me. You'd invite yourself to everything, be it conversations or dinners out where the first day I really didn't think too much of, until the day after (saturday) and sunday i have straight up ignored you the whole day, moving rooms/area whenever you were nearby. Everytime I tried to hang out with the person whom you've mentioned for whatever reason, who's currently my boyfriend, you would try and take a chance to just sit in front of us and stare, not saying a word. I'd say "would be nice if you went inside to speak to others" and you'd still stand there, there were so many people you could've hung out with yet you chose to be right next to me constantly. I had no space and privacy at any point during those 3 days.

I didn't wanna talk to the admins, it's true, I got home and I just wanted to disappear and have you forget about my existence. The situation got bigger and bigger and much more serious by each day and it was inevitable eventually, so I spoke to both Supra and some german organizers (they all contacted me first). When Gideon approached me, I asked if he could at least make you guys understand you behaved so poorly, to apologize, and move on since I understand how much of a suffering this is for everyone, including you, even if you made a mistake. Mistakes can happen, awkward situations and terrible outcomes happen, but I was hoping to find some common ground for this. He instead eventually stopped replying to me, after he got his info or whatever (and he even got it wrong considering he said I answered to a question he has never asked lol), and just told me that "the guys in the game are just socially inept and not good with emotions and communications so we need to be patient"... okay? That's not my responsibility.

The "maybe i should've been a lot more direct" is just me blaming myself as i normally do when i feel very depressed and overwhelmed, thinking if i never came to lan then nothing would have ever happened. But the reality is that you guys need to take responsibility if you suffocate people's space and cross boundaries. This doesn't mean you deserve to be harassed and neglected, but the air you say you cleared, you proceeded to make it dirty by talking about the situation with everyone, mentioning names and lies. And yet, I've decided every single time to shut up and suck it up, tanking the consequences of "oh it's a girl in the community ofc it happens, oh it's this and that, oh she this and that". I understood you were trying to defend yourselves as it's quite a shit feeling to feel accused, but you said "we did nothing to Luny" when you could've simply said you were very cringe and awkward and apologize, it would've been mature of you and at least from me, which is the most important side in this since I am directly involved, I would've put an end to it. I was already doing horrible pre-lan for multiple reasons, the only enjoyable moments I had were a couple friends I was happy to meet and my partner whom I've known for years.

I've always been very kind to everyone in Mumble and at lan, and never in my life I would've predicted such a tragic outcome. Also, this shouldn't be anyone's business but ours and stop using this autism card, plenty of people hanging out with us at lan are autistic, yet no one has dared to treat me like that.

I only want to be left alone and play the game, I want to enjoy the company of people without any issues and you're making this impossible. I hate drama and I am not a vengeful person, like I said I don't wanna drop a super long document trying to disproof everything you typed so please just acknowledge that how you behaved was not good, and do better. Plus, I don't have a GoPro on my head or a recording software active on pc 24/7 where I can show how things truly went all the time, but perhaps question yourself why so many people, even unrelated ones to the Mumble server, reported stuff or acted as witnesses after the lan.

I don't condone any type of harassment towards you or Nicky, some situations pre and after lan got out of hand, some emotions weren't dealt with properly, and again, I want you both to recognize that and sincerely apologize. It's unfair you get treated like some sort of serial killer or worse, all I want is forgiveness and some peace. I don't want you exiled from the community or lans, just you to own up to your mistakes. PLEASE END THIS, it's not doing anyone any good.

warra 90° point spin every update