Slamberg had been farming pugs all night. His eyes were heavy and his heart heavier, but his efforts reflected in his elo-- he was within 1000 elo points of b4nny. “So close”, he thought. It was the only way to truly get the attention and love of his idol; there just wasn’t any other way. He heard a loud BEEP coming from his monitor, it was pug champ! It was time to pick. B4nny was the other captain, so he knew if he made stupid picks and threw the game that b4nny would call him an idiot, which was his biggest turn on. It was b4nny’s turn to pick and his heart nearly dropped when he saw who was the first to get chosen by the great b4nny….. It was muma.
He panicked and quickly picked his pocket shrugger. Everyone was shocked, even shrugger. He thought he signed up for scout but must have misclicked. Trying to recover, he went to pick Muffinz on roamer, but picked him on demo instead. B4nny laughed at this team and typed “fucking farmberg” in the chat. Slamberg’s tumescence was throbbing from just reading this statement-- he couldn’t believe b4nny spoke directly to him. B4nny went for the fattest picks - paddie, lansky, freestate - you name it and b4nny had the player. B4nny picked himself to play scout, so slamberg knew he had to also play scout so he could show him his fragging finesse. He knew it was the only way to get at that 13 inch punisher. The match was about to start, slamberg had one hand on his mouse and the other on his 3 inch pencil dick (chode better imo)… he was ready to take b4nny’s insults, and the game was ready to start. OSsloth
The game was over before slamberg knew it. B4nny rolled him and his team 5-0, his stream chat made memes out of slamberg and he loved every second of it. He stroked his 3 inch pocket pistol to every frag that b4nny got on him. He moaned every time his medic got dropped. He knew what he had to do. He sent b4nny a PM asking him to join his PRIVATE mumble, knowing b4nny would jump at the chance to insult him. Slamberg stood up to grab his 12 liter bucket of lube and 10 rolls of elmo brand tissue papers before b4nny joined. He knew that the second he heard b4nny’s voice that he wouldn’t be able to control himself, so he thought “better safe than sorry”. B4nny joined the mumble to hear muma blasting a COHEED and CANADA song though his microphone. “What the fuck?” b4nny moaned to his stream. He usually muted mic spammers but slamberg knew he couldn’t resist the sweet rock and roll of his favorite band. Slamberg had him right where he wanted him. But before b4nny could say anything, Time Warner Cable fucked him over and he crashed. His stream chat was filled with “rip”, but little did b4nny know Slamberg was one of those “rip”s. B4nny rejoined the mumble. “Looks like your stream is kill…” He said slyly. “It’s just us now”. OSsloth
It was one week after that when slamberg got on a flight. The plane lands in California for a “business trip” he had set up the week before. He thought multiple times about going to see b4nny but he just couldn’t bring himself to betray paddie like that. “They don’t have to find out… it will be our secret…” slamberg thinks to himself. He thought about b4nny playing guitar to him and whispering “later” into his ear over and over while he rammed him from behind while lil gray watched ….. “NO!” he thought. “Get these thoughts out of your head! You don’t want to freak him out… just try to be normal slamberg”. Slamberg Knocks on b4nny’s door. B4nny opens it to hear “Well well well, if it isn’t Grant “Fucking” Vincent”. B4nny was shocked, “Slammie-- uuhhh I mean slamberg?!?! What are you doing here?!?”. Slamberg couldn’t help but blush, “Well I was just dropping by to hang out. Maybe get a lan going?” “I don’t know about that…I mean it is only the two of us…”
Slamberg has been crashing at b4nny's place for some time now rent free. He is thinking of anyway possible to pay him back. He walks into his room one late night just as he ends the stream
“Had a good night of fragging?”
“Always.” said b4nny. Grant stood up and walked over to clamber but tripped on his guitar, landing right into slambergs arms. He tried to get up but he just couldn’t resist being wrapped around slamberg’s muscular arms.
“Oh… I’m sorry slammie” b4nny whispered
“No no…. it’s alright” slamberg whispered back.. Slamberg took Grant by the hand and led him to the bed. “ Slamberg took b4nny and threw him on the bed for the roughest MGE of his life. B4nny ripped off slambergs shirt.. He was not about to lose this mid. Slamberg fought back and whispered into b4nny’s ear “you don’t deserve” But b4nny being the TOP fragger he was, He KNEW he deserved! B4nny grabbed slamberg’s “original” and started firing rockets off into his mouth. “OH B4nny! Please don’t stop” B4nny didn’t know how to stop. Slamberg wanted to return the favor and grabbed b4nny and flipped him around. He whispered into b4nny’s ear “I’m going for the backcap” and stuck his backscatter into b4nny's behind. He went even DEEPer with such intensity, b4nny moaned louder then any call he has ever made. Luckily he is extremely turned on by micro dicks. B4nny felt so good that He screamed out “STEEEVE” at the top of his lungs He was left with only 9hp Luckily.. Slamberg was left in tears- how could he be mistaken for Steve!?!? He doesn't even play tf2 anymore! B4nny leaned over. Slamberg thought he was going to apologize but he was very wrong. B4nny very lightly whispered “you didn’t deserve”. AT that moment paddie came bursting out from the closet and yelled “HAHA FUCKING FARMBERG LEARN TO FRAG”. Slamberg was still in tears and he ran out of b4nny’s house naked. He felt an odd sense of satisfaction though. He got what he wanted in the end, no matter how it happened. “I’ll just keep throwing in pugs… they’ll come back…” and he has been lurking ever since.