This narrative you tried to spin with the demo review is honestly kind of annoying. Bear and Cookiejake were lurking in chat and popped their heads in during the stream whenever they remembered to pay attention. The stuff they were saying was clearly reflected by that dynamic and didn't amount to much. As for mason, I liked a lot of what mason said and then proceeded to work on it but im not gonna spam chat with "thanks I agree with that" every time I get a good piece of advice. Of course the only stuff u are gonna see from me is when I have a problem something that got said. Yes, I am not an established invite player and yes I did beef two very important matches, but I think its disingenuous to pretend like im so bad that I dont have the capacity for self analysis and should just blindly accept whatever 'better' players spoon feed me.
obviously im not an unhelpable idiot if I got better, fuck off

Honestly its still hard for me to wrap my head around you. Like you said above, a lot of people don't actually know you well at all, and as a teammate I thought you were fine all the way up until u blew up at me. As far as I am aware, I wasn't even passive aggressive towards you- I was and still am just fucking quiet all around on the team. Hell, I even felt pretty intimidated playing with the team for quite a while. IMO It felt like if somebody dared disagree with you, they were the scum of the earth. You took what people said about in-game stuff very personally. I distinctly remember a time when the team got in a yelling match because you said yosh baited you or some other shit, and EVERYONE tried to tell you no and you just took it incredibly poorly.

I was down with you playing a tryout for us this season. Come the actual day, it felt like the entire time you were just searching for asinine reasons to yell at me despite purposefully making sure to listen to you carefully. Nobody needs a player yelling in their ear "why did you pop there!!!" (or similar things) when there are obviously reasons I did something. In fact, that is kind of a running theme that defined a lot of our interactions. I would try to tell you something or explain myself and you would just overlook the words I was saying and just be mad. Anything I tried to say you treated like a pre-teen being defiant for no reason. I was really hoping you would have gotten over this shit considering you were even considering playing for us again.

Also, I know exactly what you are talking about when you are saying that I 'blatantly disregarded your comms', but I also remember you telling me to literally shut the fuck up during that vel match when I tried to explain to you what the problem was with a call you made only for that exact same situation to happen again with the exact same misplay. You playing the victim here makes me more upset than anything you ever did while you were on the team or trying out, what the fuck is this "would you wanna play on a team with a TOXIC medic" bullshit. You messaged all the other players on mentality about how much you disliked me but never EVER gave me anything to work with by telling me what you thought, or even being willing to consider what I was trying to say. I never knew a fucking thing about how much you disliked me until the last second. It was never my or others intentions to antagonize you before, so sorry- but it seems you felt no qualms about doing that exact thing to me. To the best of my knowledge every other player on mentality seems to be satisfied with me and that is all that really matters to me in the end. Up until now I was more than willing to just chalk all this up to a personality clash, but I don't think so anymore.