every day i wake up and do the shit i need to do that day, but there's always this voice in the back of my mind that says "you're not gonna be able to do this. you'll never succeed. you are just a pathetic loser who tries to hide their meekness" and to say it's been draining on my mental health would be an understatement. this voice follows me everywhere i go and no matter what i do, it's around the corner waiting. whether it be schoolwork, drawing, or grinding on MGE it's always there. and the fact that i can't do anything about it and in fact my dad ENCOURAGES me to continue this downward plunge of self doubt and hatred for the sake of my grades and "CoLlEgE" pisses me off, but i can't do anything about it. i feel trapped, lost and alone. i'm afraid to even post this thread but if i don't get these thoughts out it's going to kill me slowly.
i know i may not come off as very likeable, especially with my more recent posts, but i'd appreciate if you just a little bit of time out of your day to listen. i know tftv isn't my personal therapist, but it's better than nothing i guess